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[FROM STAGE LEFT, CASUALLY WALK TOWARDS CENTER STAGE AT A NORMAL PACE, HEAD TURNED LEFT (FACING AUDIENCE) WITH AN EXPRESSION OF UTMOST TERROR, NEARLY BREAK INTO CRYING (AT LEAST TWICE)- LET THE AUDIENCE EXPERIENCE THE PURE HORROR SETTING IN, KEEP STARING OUT UNTIL REACHING STAGE CENTER, THEN STOP. SILENCE.]
ME: Every time I want to actually talk about how I feel, I'm afraid people will just laugh at me.
[TURN, FACE AWAY FROM AUDIENCE]
ME: It's all a joke. Even if they're not really laughing, I know people are just humoring me.
ME: The things I do are merely the result of some common perception, and aren't valid parts of "me", they exist only in regards to my actions inside social constructs.
[WAIT A MOMENT, THEN SIT ON FLOOR, CRADLE SELF WITH ARMS]
ME: The things I want don't exist. I'm stuck in a human body... I'm stuck as a name- I'm stuck as a series of traits, interests, ideas. I don't know what these things actually are.
ME: Everyone tries to loan me their language. I don't know what any of those phrases represent once I sit down and have no words left, though. I don't know what a "man" or a "woman" is, I don't even know what a "person" is.
ME: I can't even make a distinction between internal and external. The only thing that exists is an endless series of sensations and events. I can't experience beyond what is happening. "Me" is happening by still being alive, but so is everything else around me, and that makes it me as well. Even once I'm not sentient the body will still be there, taking up space in some other view.
[LAY DOWN ON FLOOR, SPRAWL LIMBS OUT]
ME: I had a dream the other night where a man with perfectly round, large eyes kept coming out from my walls. He wore a nice suit and was bald, which made the huge, spherical eyes even more apparent. He was always there, watching, and whenever I screamed to him that I wanted to be alone he'd come out from the wall and grab me. He'd hold me tight and try to take me back to his world. I don't know if I'll ever escape other people and their worlds.
[PUT ARMS TOGETHER, BUT LEAVE LEGS OUT, STRAIGHTENED]
ME: I don't know if I'll ever figure these things out. The best thing I can probably do is try not to think about it. The best thing I can do is just accept the things I see and keep going. I'll never escape the clutch of others but maybe I can change the way I receive these things, at least.
[START ROLLING OFF STAGE]
[THE BOMB STOPS TICKING, AND HALF THE THEATER IS LEVELED. THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS.]
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