|
EXCERPTS FROM THE UNFINISHED WORK BY LILITH AND A1REVIEWS:
FACEBOOK CEOS POWERLUNCH BENEATH WRITHING HUMAN CHANDELIER FROM FORBIDDEN ZONE EXCEPT ITS HATSUNE MIKU AND SHES STILL JIGGING WEAKLY TO THE RIHANNA SONG RINGTONE FROM SOME DOUCHE’S ITHINGY
HATSUNE MIKU / HUMAN CHANDELIER SWAYS HER BODY WITH TOO MUCH MOTION IN EXCITEMENT THEN CRASHES TO THE FLOOR. THE FACEBOOK CEOS STARE ON UNSURE OF HOW TO REACT, ONLY BEING ABLE TO SPEAK IN BRAND PROMOTIONS AND OCCULT CURSES. THE ITHING IS BROKEN AND A FUNERAL IS HELD AT UNSPECIFIED LOCATION. LINK GIVES THE VOWS. WAS LINK HERE ALL ALONG? LINK EXPLAINS:
"I WAS NOT BORNE FROM THIS LAND. I AM NOT OF THIS WORLD. YET I EXIST. I BREATH, I MOVE. THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS OVERWHELMING AND I CANNOT STOP CRYING. I WAS IN HYRULE FIELD, THEN I WAS NOT. IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT? NO. IT’S ALL THE SAME. I MUST CONTINUE ON. DEATH IS LIFE. LIFE IS DEATH. THERE IS NO STOPPING MY TEARS."
TAKES BIG BLOB OF PLASTICINE LABELLED FANTASY AND ANOTHER ONE LABELLED LIFE AND THEN MOOSHES THEM DRAMATICALLY TOGETHER WHILE ENTIRE TED TALK CHEERS + DISEMBOWELLS A HOMELESS MAN (VLOGGING)
BOUND+GAGGED EISENSTEIN PUSHED OUT OF A HELICOPTER BY MICHEAL BAY EXCEPT THE EDITING IS SO CONFUSING YOU CANT TELL WHATS HAPPENING AND HES ALIVE IN THE NEXT SCENE THO VERY CONFUSED
CAMERA CUTS TO THE OCEAN THEN BACK TO EINSTEIN BUT THEN BACK TO THE OCEAN BUT IT’S VERY BRIEF AND THE VISION IS BLURRED AND NO ONE CAN TELL WHAT’S GOING ON EXCEPT THE MAN IN THE BLACK HELICOPTER WHO IS THROWING LARGE SHARDS OF PUMICE AT THE CAMERAMAN AND RUINING THE WHOLE SHOOT. THE MAN IN THE HELICOPTER IS REVEALED TO BE LINK, TRANSPORTED TO THIS TIME BY CURRENTLY UNKNOWN MEANS
"WOW, THIS IS A LOT BETTER THAN HYRULE FIELD! HA! HA!"
DOMINOS PIZZA CEO BLANDLY SCROLLS THRU THOMAS PYNCHONS 800-PAGE OCARINA OF TIME TICKLING FANFICTION; GREASE FROM FINGERS AND CONSTANT IRRITABLE PAWING @ IPAD SURFACE START A GREASEFIRE THAT IMMEDIATELY IMMOLATES SHRIEKING HATSUNE MIKU
GORON CHIEF DECLARES WAR ON SYRIA
WILLIAM GIBSON SHUDDERS ORGASMICALLY AS ALL TWELVE SEASONS OF “TOTALLY SPIES” ARE DOWNLOADED OVER HIS EPIDERMIS; TUMBLR CHIEF BUYS RIGHTS FOR 1MILL.
HATSUNE MIKU IS REBORN. IN HER NEW BODY SHE IS A CATERPILLAR. SHE SLUDGES ACROSS A LEAF. SHE EATS PART OF THE LEAF, BUT IS CAREFUL NOT TO BREAK HER SUSPENSION SO AS TO PLUMMET DOWN TO HER DEATH, AND AN EVEN WORSE LIFE. IRONICALLY THE LEAF IS NOT REAL. IT IS A SIMULATION-OF-TREE-GROWING APP FOR IPOP. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING BREAKS DOWN. IN ANNOYANCE, GORDON FREEMAN MEANS TO SWIPE HER ASIDE, BUT SHE IS SQUISHED INSTEAD. GORDON FREEMAN LETS OUT A DEEP SIGH. “I REALLY NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL WHEN I’M WEARING MY POWERSUIT”
100,000 CADMIUM-PAINTED SHREK PROMOTIONAL GLASSES SHOVELLED INTO SMOKING PIT AT NEW YORK’S GROUND ZERO; CHINESE TAKE WISCONSON
NEO FROM THE MATRIX SOMERSAULTS THROUGH SCREEN TO DELIVER THE UNABOMBER MANIFESTO WHILE STEVE JOBS DOES THAT CREEPY SCREAM FROM INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS NO SURVIVORS
STEVE JOBS THROWS HIMSELF FROM FOXCONN HQ RECITING THE LITANY AGAINST FEAR
BART SIMPSONS CROSS-SECTIONED BRAIN HELD TRIUMPHANTLY BEFORE TOKYO 2021 OLYMPIC DELEGATES AS PSYCHIC ENERGY DESTROYS ALL PLATE GLASS
FORMLESS YELLOW SPIKES RISE FROM THE GASH. WOLF BLITZER ON THE MATTER: “IS THIS THE POWER OF GOD? SHOULD WE HAVE TOYED WITH THE POWER… OF GOD?”
THOMAS PYNCHON INTERVIEWED BY VIVI IN SHOCK DAILY SHOW COUP WHILE VIEWERS TEXT IN WHICH ONE LOOKS MORE REAL
OVER 1000 POLYGONS. OVER 10000 POLYGONS. OVER 100000 POLYGONS. OVER 1000000 POLYGONS
IN AN INNOVATIVE DISTRIBUTION MOVE, 2014’S SCHEDULED GODZILLA REMAKE WILL BE RELEASED IN THE FORM OF AN ACTUAL GODZILLA. INDUSTRY EXPERTS NOTE THAT BOLD MARKETING DECISION WILL MOST LIKELY “ERADICATE HUMANITY”.
FINAL FANTASY 25 LAUNCHES NEUTRON BOMB AT FORMER SOVIET REPUBLIC, TRIGGERING THE CATACLYSM LATER KNOWN AS “JUDGEMENT DAY”. KOTAKU PRAISE GRAPHICS
THE TURKS CLAIM AN ABANDONED WORLD-WAR-2-ERA SEABASE AND DECLARE IT THE CENTER OF THE NEW WORLD. BUBSY THE BOBCAT MANIFESTS AS THE SAVIOR OF LIGHT. SONIC FEELS DISPLACED.
MARIO DONS A TANUKI SUIT AND EATS A PLUM
BREAKING BAD’S BRYAN CRANSTON PLAYS ONE OF THE 10 MILLION INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS PHYSICALLY MELDED INTO GODZILLA 2014’S WRITHING BIO-FLESH ENDOPLASM - PRESS STATEMENT REFUTES THE WESTERN NOTION OF A SINGULAR EGO AND CLAIMS THE MONSTER WILL BE “A GREAT POPCORN FLICK”
MEANWHILE, GODZILLA ATTEMPTS TO HAVE LUNCH WITH AN OLD FRIEND BUT A NEW DEVELOPMENT IN THE MARKETING SECTOR REQUIRES HIM TO DIE. HE IS HIT WITH 5000 MISSILES BUT IN A TWIST OF FATE CRASHES DOWN UPON HOLLYWOOD AND DESTROYS THE VERY EXECUTIVES WHO BROUGHT HIM INTO THE WORLD
CHARLES MARTINET EMITS HIS TRADEMARK WHOOPS AND CHIRPS AS MARIO RAISES FLAGPOLE IN HONOUR OF 9/11 DEAD
CLIMBS THE FLAGPOLE, COLLECTS THE 1UP
|
