playing games, watching cartoons, abstract forms moving around a screen, makes my body feel like its decaying. i want to be overwhelmed by necrosis and drift away in it. games don’t feel like they’re a “virtual world” so much as strange doppelganger world (simulated, caricature of a world) trying to invade on surrounding environment. supplement world doing a little jig in the midst of Human Society. feels like a version of the world where no one notices that everything is weird and dorky and arbitrary but like, yeah, cool, you keep doing that anyway. playing n64 emulator late into the night “it’s okay i don’t understand anything either. please, collect more Blue Key, it’s really important”. comforting knowing it doesn’t need me but is there anyway. always know the goombas are waiting for me in mario even long after i’m gone and dead.

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